Have you ever been told you’re too emotional or too sensitive? Yes? I can pretty much guarantee most girls have at some point in their lives. I know I was told this, my family and friends always use to say I needed to be ‘less emotional’.
I remember clearly one friend telling me I needed to stop ‘feeling’ so much. I can still hear her now, I remember turning and looking at her with a ‘how the heck do I stop feeling what I’m feeling’ look? I couldn’t get my head around it, it made no sense to me. How does a person switch their emotions off, their heart off, their feelings off? Maybe it was just me, I didn’t understand. I remember thinking there was something wrong with me. That I needed to some how tune my feelings out. I needed to find a way to numb my emotions so I didn’t feel so much.
I remember trying to work out how I was going to do this, I googled ‘how to be less emotional’, I looked in books (yes I’m a book worm), I clipped out articles in magazines. Everywhere I looked said something different. It seemed that everyone had a different opinion on what emotions were, how many emotions you should have and how to deal with them. The more I read the more confused… and interested I became.
I agreed with some of the things I read and completely disagreed with others. I decided it was time for me to start looking more at myself and my own emotions instead of listening to everyone else. The more I thought about my feelings, the more I realised they were a huge part of me. I couldn’t just switch them off, I couldn’t not care, if I did I wouldn’t be me anymore. For the first time ever I started to look at my emotions as one of my own greatest assets. I started to realise (regardless of what anyone else said) my feelings weren’t something to be ashamed of or something to hide from others, they were something to be proud of.
I started to see my emotions and feelings were what allowed me to care for others so deeply. They allowed me to love, to laugh, to cry and to be open hearted. Once I started learning to love my emotions and to be grateful for my ability to feel deeply, I was able to look at my feelings differently. Because I was now able to see how they were positively affecting my life, I was also able to slowly start seeing how they were negatively affecting my life.
By learning to love my emotions and appreciate the good things about them first, I was able to start seeing the not-so-good things. I could start to recognise when I was reacting to situations purely based on my feelings, instead of what was actually in front of me. I started to see how I would react straight away when my feelings were high, instead of stepping back, taking a big breath and waiting to calm down.
I started trying different things with my emotions, I tried writing them down, I tried, listening to music, I tried talking about my feelings- instead of from my feelings. I tried to be clear and explain were I was coming from instead of just getting upset. I started to see how I had control of how I handled my emotions.
The greatest thing I have learnt about my feeling is I wont ever numb them or hide them or try to make them go away. Feelings are what give us joy and happiness, feelings and emotions are what make life so enjoyable and special, the secret is to work with them not against them. How do you handle your feelings? Maybe it’s time for you to start looking at how you can use your amazing feelings for the better. Maybe it’s time to start understanding your own feelings more, where they come from, what sets your feelings off- good and bad, how you react when your feelings are high.
Your feelings and emotions are one of your greatest assets. Don’t be afraid of them or ashamed of them. Learn to use them to your advantage not your disadvantage. Look at how other people use their emotions, do they hide them, do they use them in the wrong way, do they talk differently or act differently when they are highly emotional? Start keeping your eye out and learn from what you see. I am still learning!
There is something else I just thought of, all my favorite people on the planet all have something in common. They feel, love and live from a deeply emotional level. They understand their feelings, they are completely open, compassionate and empathic to others, they are people you would turn to for anything, people you know would always understand and always be there for you. These people feel a lot and care a lot. So, if you are the kind of girl with a deep heart and lots of feeling (which I know you are), don’t ever let anyone tell you your too emotional or you feel too much. Always love yourself and your feelings and never try to cut your feelings off. Instead look closely at how you are using them, take control and get your feelings to work for you and others, not against you.
Your daily Emotion Declaration
“I live a happy, passionate, exciting and loving life because I am open to heart and what it feels”.
Next Love Blog: What is Emotional Intelligence?